“The journey of the hero is not just about external adventures, but also about the transformation of the self." J. Campbell
In an interview, Joseph Campbell reflects on an aspect of the hero's journey—those who willingly step into life-threatening situations to save others, setting aside concern for their own safety. Firefighters, police officers, soldiers, caregivers, and countless others embody this kind of selflessness. In these moments, the ego dissolves. There is no “I” or “you,” only a shared human experience. Acts of rescue aren't always calculated decisions—they often arise from a deep, instinctual surge of unconditional love. It's in these moments that our similarities eclipse our differences.
Children who have experienced the loss of a parent or trauma need heroes like this. They need to know that their safety matters to someone else. Why? Because safety is a fundamental human need, second only to air, water, food, and shelter. When a child feels truly safe, they can begin to meet their next essential need: belonging.
Belonging fosters hope, resilience, courage—and, perhaps surprisingly, a sense of freedom. Yet many children, and even adults, search for belonging and never find it, simply because they don’t feel safe. There may be people around—family, friends, familiar faces—but still, there’s a lingering feeling of disconnection. Presence does not guarantee safety. Words of care do not always equate to protection.
True safety is felt, not spoken. And it is the foundation upon which healing and connection are built. Many people grew up without a true sense of safety—regardless of their economic status, location, ethnicity, or race. Why? Because conditional love is not safe. When love depends on behavior, achievement, or compliance, it creates anxiety, not security. Too often, children are treated not as individuals, but as extensions of the adults around them. Yet children perceive the world in their own unique way. They can remind us how to live in the moment, how to play, and—perhaps most importantly—how to be authentic.
Unfortunately, adults often fail to recognize a child’s true nature. Instead, they judge, label, and react, pressuring children to grow up too fast. Some even view children primarily through the lens of utility—valuing them only for what they can do or contribute. When a child is no longer seen as “useful,” they may face punishment, rejection, or, in the most tragic cases, violence. This isn’t a new phenomenon. It’s a historical tragedy that has repeated itself across cultures and centuries.
In recent years, efforts have been made to humanize childhood—to honor the unique perspective children bring and to prioritize their need for safety. These efforts are noble. Yet in many spaces, they have fallen short. Why? Because the adults responsible for creating that safety often do not feel safe themselves.
At the heart of it, many adults carry their own wounds. They struggle with feelings of unworthiness and a lack of unconditional love. And without healing, they cannot offer what they do not have. To become a hero in a child's life, means a transformation must occur. The real turning point comes when adults begin to extend unconditional love to themselves. Only then can they create the kind of love and safety that children so deeply need.